Follow us on our journey through the last few months of pregnancy and our first days with our baby boy (due 2/15/11)

Friday, September 2, 2011

'Dating' after Marriage

I think I should begin this blog entry by saying that the title, albeit slightly misleading, is the only title I could think of as appropriate for this 'revelation'. Ben and I are perfectly happy, and this does not allude to any problems, just trust me and please read on.

I've found that there are two types of so-called 'dating' after one gets married. The first is dating for couple friends, and the second I've recently encountered is dating for mom/baby friends.

Ben and I experienced the first (couple dating) together, mainly when we were living in North Carolina. We had single friends, who would invite their significant others out with us, and that was totally normal and not discussion-worthy to us. Then, we were asked out on a date. We took Stella to PetSmart dog training classes (pre-pregnancy), with the SOLE intention of training her (the results are often debatable), but found ourselves surrounded by couples with dogs. Small chat was made during class, and sometimes even on our way in or out of the store. It mainly had to do with the dogs, their behavior, and how well we (as owners) were doing our homework with practicing the training. On the last night of class, after puppy graduation (and Frosty Paws), a lovely young couple chatted with us. Background: they're both Romanian and Ben and I are pretty sure he's the real-life Jason Bourne in the military, speaks about 14 languages, and gets sketchy phone calls that he 'has to take care of'. They approached us after class, made some small talk, and then said "we should grab dinner sometime, can we exchange phone numbers?" We did, we hung out with them a few times, invited them to our Super Bowl party, and then our 'couple friendship' faded into the distance.... like a relationship that had just taken it's course.

The second type of 'dating' I have experienced since moving back up North, over the past two months or so. It happens while I'm walking the dog and Oliver sometimes, but mainly during my trips to Stroller Strides. If you get a group of moms together, mostly stay-at-home moms, they're bound to chat, and 'find' each other. I met a few very nice moms while we were in Ridgefield, who sent and/or accepted Facebook friendship requests (does that make our 'friendship' official?). I met a very nice mom last week, who has a son one day older than Oliver, and it was obvious from early on that we had a lot in common - other than our same-aged babies and desire to 'get out and do something' every day. We were walking back to our cars after class when I said "well if you're here on Friday, we will see you then." I was caught a bit off guard when she responded "yeah, and if you guys don't have anything to do after, maybe we can grab a coffee or something..." A date? I was asked out on a Mommy date! I was very happy to have 'made a friend', and to have a good excuse to go sit and have a cup of coffee, but I really wanted someone (like Ben) to laugh with about the whole situation. We had coffee today, and Oliver's playdate slept the whole time. It was nice to have some adult conversation, and discuss the issues that are oh so pressing in our lives these days (Did he like Peas? How often does he wake up? What is his bedtime routine?), as well as the 'getting to know you' questions we most likely asked our husbands when getting to know them. Now, that we've exchanged numbers - she said she would text me so I have her number, although I'm still waiting. Wait, what? This is like dating all over again. I'm wondering how she thinks our date went. Will she ask me to go to lunch next, or will she spend next class trying to find a new Mommy friend? Hahahaha. I can't help but laugh at the whole thing.

The bottom line is that I thought I was done with dating when I got married. It's just different type of 'dating' now. That is all. Best wishes to all who 'Mommy date.'

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